The Moment

I would describe myself as a strong woman.  I suspect those that know me would as well.  Strong physically, mentally and emotionally.  That's not to say I don't have my moments, but we all do.  Weak, meek and passive are not terms that would most likely be used to refer to me.  I've had a job since I was 15, working full time during the summers as a lifeguard.  I've worked in food service. I've worked in fitness. I've worked in finance.  All while going to school at the same time.  I eventually worked in childcare and now I work at home.  I was the poster child for "Strong Women".  I even tried to go to a meeting for football tryouts when I was in high school. I could do ANYTHING.  I am woman, hear me roar.  Would I consider myself a feminist?  Not a modern feminist.  Something always struck me as off with that......

I remember the moment that I fully realized the damage that modern feminism has done.  I was sitting with my then almost 3 year old daughter.  We had welcomed our son into the world a couple months earlier.  We were sitting and playing and we somehow got talking about professions.  We talked about what her Papa does (an OR Nurse) and I asked her what she wanted to do when she grew up.  Her response?  "I want to be a Mommy!"  Want to know what my initial reaction was?  "Oh, no, I mean what job do you want to have when you grow up?" I didn't say it, but I thought it.  I actually thought that.  This little girl sees Motherhood as a wonderful, important role and that is what she wants to do when she grows up and my initial thought was that it wasn't a "real" job.  And it's MY job!  Sure, it might not happen.  She might not have children.  She might not be a Mommy.  But how many kids say they want to be an astronaut or president or police officer and that doesn't happen either?  We still encourage them and tell them to go for it.  Why would it be any different if they say they want to stay at home and focus all of their efforts on raising, teaching and loving their (or someone else's) children?

Modern feminism has made us feel that Motherhood is not good enough.  It is not a valid "career" choice.  Men can't be Mother's, so it isn't an arena where we can exert our "equality" so it isn't worth focusing our efforts on.  Instead of embracing the differences of the sexes and promoting ALL of our strengths, we've somehow belittled women EVEN MORE and deemed the only worthy pursuits to be the one's that Men do too.  How screwed up is that?  While "empowering" women, we've belittled them. 

How can raising and shaping the next generation not be a worthy career choice?  How have we gotten to this point?  Without even getting into the massive amount of work being a stay at home Mother is, you're shaping and molding and nurturing the future firefighters, surgeons, biologists, teachers, mothers and fathers. If you have children and work outside the home, you have to outsource the care and raising of the children, right?  That simple fact should show that Motherhood is a job and that it should be viewed as a respectible career choice.

My initial reaction to my daughter's response really disgusted me.  It was a huge moment of self reflection and deciding what was really important to us - to ME.  If I REALLY feel that my daughter can do ANYTHING - that includes being a Mommy.  Am I really respecting MYSELF if that was my reaction? I had to do lots of reflection after that moment.  I am at a point now that I am more at peace with my role at home, with my children.

Do I call myself a feminist?
No.

I am Mama.
Hear me roar.


If your child told you that is what they wanted to be when they grew up - what would be your first thought?